Almost every day this is a question that is asked of the consultants at The Something Blue Shoppe.  Mothers of the bride and groom want to look beautiful, feel good,  and have their son or daughter feel proud of the way they look.  They want to be dresses properly for the big event.  How do we achieve all that?   How do I  know what style is best for my “body type”? What colors are OK to wear to the wedding and what colors are taboo? Should I wear a long gown? Would a short dress be better for this wedding venue?   If I wear a short dress, how short?  Is tea length considered short or long?
By the time we are to be the “Mother of”, we sometimes feel that our bodies have betrayed us.  We are self conscious about our arms, our necks, our knees or ankles, and we all wonder just how will I make this tummy look flatter.  Believe me, I’ve heard it all, and most of the time I’ve felt it about myself.
Because we have so many Mothers ask, I’ve decided to attempt to answer some, if not all of these questions.  Every Mother of the Bride or Groom wants to know that when she takes her stroll down the aisle, she is at her very best.

If you have other questions, or comments, please, please leave them for me.  If you have suggestions to other Mothers, or an experience that you want to share, please go to the bottom of the entry where it says “Speak Your Mind” and fill out the info, hit the submit button and tell me.  I will then share it with other Mothers.  Together, we will lick this age old problem of What do I wear?

I think the questions asked most frequently are what color should I wear and what length gown should I wear.  Let’s talk about those items first.

I often tell the Mother of the Bride that she should wear the color in which she feels most confident , and the color that makes her feel pretty.  If a woman feels pretty, then she is usually pretty confident.  I tell the Mother of the Groom the exact same thing, but I also tell her to be prepared with a 2nd color choice if the Brides mother is wearing her 1st color choice.

As Official hostess of the wedding festivities, the Mother of the bride has 1st choice of color and length of gown.  The color should be chosen with the a-fore mentioned things in mind, and also with the color of the bridal party in mind.  As the hostess, she  should choose to wear a gown in keeping with the mood of the wedding.  If it is to be a formal service, then a formal gown is in order.  If it is more casual, garden event, then the dress should be chosen with that in mind.  Mothers are not bridesmaids.  Therefore, choose a color that is complimentary to the bridesmaid’s color, but not the same.  Choose your color, or color family and the length of the gown you will wear as early as possible.  Then tell the Groom’s mom your preference and she can begin her search for a gown.  So often I’ve had the Mother of the Groom come in, only a few weeks before the wedding, desperate for a gown.  She only just learned the color the bride’s mother is wearing and she has been waiting.  This makes for a nervous Mother of the Groom and doesn’t help to create good vibes between the two moms.

The Mother of the Groom is an honored guest at the wedding, is given  seating equal to that of the brides’ mother, so she must look very special as well.  She should choose to wear the length of gown established by the bride’s mother, and a color that is not that of the bridal party, or the bride’s mother.  A color that would compliment either or both of those colors would be wonderful, IF that is one that will make the Groom’s mother feel pretty and confident.

The step-mother of the bride or groom is a guest at the wedding.  The step-mother chooses her dress after the Mothers of the Bride and Groom.  She should not wear the colors that either of the Mothers have selected.  If the Mothers are planning for long , formal gowns, then you may choose to wear that length as well, but the length is you choice.  If the Mothers have chosen to wear short or tea length gowns, the you should not wear a long gown.  Follow the rules that we’ve previously discussed to the Mothers when making selections.  You should simply ask your step child what their preferences are regarding your attire, and the follow any suggestions given as you so choose.  You certainly need to feel comfortable and secure in your choice.  After all, you are a family member, this is a happy occasion, and you want to feel and look beautiful and enjoy the event.

The Grandmothers of the couple may choose to wear long gowns if the Mothers are wearing long gowns.  If the Grandmothers prefer to wear a different length gown, it is perfectly fine to do so.  They are guest of the wedding, not a member of the wedding party, so it is their choice.

If you have questions, or comments, please leave them for me.  If you have suggestions for other Mothers, or an experience that you wish to share, please go to the bottom of the entry where it says “Speak Your Mind” and fill out the info, hit the submit button and tell me.  I will then share it with other Mothers.  Together, we will lick this age old problem of what do I wear?

Am I too short to wear that style?  I wish my top was as big as my bottom.  I seem all out of proportion.  Why do they size these dresses so differently than ready to wear?  
This list of questions and complaints could go on and on.  We as women, just have issues.  Let’s address some of these issues.

Short, petite women often find that social occasion dresses just don’t come in petite.  One thing that you might do is to choose a 2 piece dress. If you are petite, remember that any gown with embellishment or banding around the hemline will cut you off and make you appear shorter.  You might choose a style with an empire’ waistline or a bolero jacket.  This will lengthen your torso and make your legs appear longer.  Avoid flowing, or billowing skirts.  Go more for the slimmer skirt styles, again to add length to your legs.

If you find that you are one of the thousands; or should I say millions, of women with the pear shape, there are choice options for you too.  Solid colors are generally  best.  It’s very important to remember that when you add to the shoulders, you take away from the hips.  
What better way to frame your face than with a stand-up collar?
Choose a moderate or plunging neckline to compliment the high collar and pull your hair up or away from the face.     It usually is styled so that the neckline is somewhat open, drawing attention to the face and the wide collar extends the shoulder and thus, diminishes the hips.

The halter dress calls extra attention to the upper half of the body, including the face,  shoulders and bustline.   This makes it great to help draw unwanted attention away from heavy hips or legs. Some ladies seem to have no waist.   They are either straight, or a little too thick in the waistline. A natural waistline or an accent at the waistline, such as a sash, may give just the look you desire.   If you are a very tall woman and wish to appear shorter (although as a short woman, I can’t imagine why you would)  try longer jackets.    A belted jacket sometimes will cut your body length and make you appear not as tall and straight. Dropped or elongated waistline will add softness. Also, soft flowing skirts or ball gown skirts with more fullness is a great style for you.

The large busted woman may have fitting problems.  If the gown fits in that area, then it is too large everywhere else.  That’s what good seamstresses are for!  The same thing is true for the woman whose hip measurement is her largest body measurement.  Remember to fit to your largest body measurement knowing that the other areas of the dress can be sculpted to fit your figure.  It is always easier to take it up than to let it out.  Some fabrics simply cannot be let out, so fit the largest measurement and just be prepared to have an appointment with a good seamstress.

A lot of moms are self cautious about their arms.  We all have two, but we certainly worry a lot about that wiggly little friend just above the elbow, on the underside of the arm.  Just know that you are among the majority of women.
When you want more coverage and don’t want to fuss with a wrap, the jacket dress is a great option.    
Jackets, stoles, or shrugs are often available from the manufacturer to match the gown.  Straps can almost always be added to a strapless garment for more comfort.  Cap sleeves can also be added to most strapless gowns.

Some Moms want to “glitz up” a bit for this big day.  Make sure your beading is on a part of your body you want to highlight, including the bodice, waist or neckline.  
Embellishment can be as subtle as tone-on-tone embroidery or as showy as bugle beads.  When well placed, it can add a lot of style and “pazazz” to whatever style gown you choose.
For utter simplicity, nothing beats a sheath dress. Its clean lines keep the dress from overwhelming your figure The sheath is slimming, but looks best on well-proportioned bodies (top or bottom-heavy figures tend to look off-balance with this look). This style is for the Mother with the body that we all wish we had!

One thing that really hurts our feelings, especially when we have been very careful about the diet, is when we need to go up in size.  Don’t ask why, but social occasion dresses just seem to run smaller than ready to wear.  You must remember that the dress is the same size that you normally wear; it just has a larger number in it.  Don’t get hung up on the number.  The important thing is to wear a gown that fits.  If your gown is too snug, it will not only be unattractive, but you will spend an uncomfortable evening.

I want to stress to the Mothers of the couple to relax.  It’s important to wear a beautiful gown to the wedding, and you will. Mothers often get a pre-conceived idea of what they want to wear and then find it unavailable, or not flattering.  If your gown is not exactly what you first pictured in your minds eye, then that probably wasn’t the right look for you anyway.  Don’t wait until the last month to look for your gown.  Special orders of Mothers’ gowns can take 12 to 14 weeks for delivery if you don’t find your size and color on the rack. If alteration or fitting adjustments are required, then allow some extra time for that.  If you have all decisions made and orders in place 16 to 18 weeks prior to the wedding, then you can relax and enjoy other wedding preparations and parties.

At The Something Blue Shoppe our consultants have spent countless hours learning about fabrics and styles that are most flattering to all body types.  When it’s your daughter’s or your son’s most special day ever, you want to look and feel your best.
We will never tell you it looks great if we think it doesn’t or if we feel that it is inappropriate.   When you look amazing and  tell your friends know that you found that beautiful gown at The Something Blue Shoppe, it is our very best advertisement.  We have been here for almost 40 years and we’ve achieved that longevity by helping our brides and our brides Mothers and Mothers-in-law to be, to look beautiful.

If you have other questions, or comments, please, please leave them for me.  If you have suggestions to other Mothers, or an experience that you want to share, please go to the bottom of the entry where it says “Speak Your Mind” and fill out the info, hit the submit button and tell me.  I will then share it with other Mothers.  Together, we will lick this age old problem of What do I wear?

Respectfully submitted by Sarah J. Morris, The Something Blue Shoppe

Photographs used in this article are from Montage, Sarah Danielle Evenings, and Nathan Taylor. Other designer carried are Jade and Jade Couture,  Cameron Blake, Daymoor, Lynn Lugo, and Watters&Watters.